I Sold My Soul

Man, you guys gave me a ton of crack pairings. Here’s the list and the crossed out ones are completed [and can be painfully viewed under my crackfic tag/linked under my about me: 

FouxMasterZhu [dear god why did you make me do that.]
CrossxKanda [I admit it gives me jollies]
CrossxKomui […lol]

And here’s the list of others I will do in the future, suggested by you. The fucked up readers:

• KomuixRoad [lolIdunnohowbutI’lltry]
• CrossxLavi [redheadsforthewin]
• Kandax9YearOldKanda [don’taskmehowIwillmakethishappen,butIwill.]
• AllenxTimcanpy
• KomuixKanda
• AllenxNeah
• KandaxLuluBell
• FouxLavixKomui

CrossOvers:

• AllenxEdwardElric
• KandaxNezumi

Ones I fuckin REFUSE (╯ಠ 益ಠ)╯︵ ┻━━┻ [I could do, I just don’t wanna because reasons.]

• KandaxMugen

• AnyonexMugen [Noyousicksicksickmotherfuckers,thatandIhaveactuallySEENKandaxMugenanditterrifies me]

• CrossxAllen [because they have almost a fucked up father/son thing going.
• TiedollxKanda for the same reason
• KomuixLenalee ’ ‘

sicklikewinter asked: cross/kanda. right now. please? it'saguiltypleasureofmine. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

ALL FOR YOU! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

————————————-

He fidgeted uncomfortably across from the fiery haired General who would. not. stop. staring. at. him. The discomfort was a thing that he only seemed to have when it concerned that man. Cross Marian was bigger, stronger, and more than likely capable of folding him in half any way he wanted to. Kanda had no fear of him—really—he had a fear of finding out what Cross Marian was looking at him like that for. Again.

Like every other time.

Always with the staring.

The very first time, it was understandable. The General had legitimately mistaken his 13 year old self for a girl. So when he opened his mouth and spoke, making it obvious he wasn’t a girl; the General stared. But, this was a different stare. This was the creepy—wanttodothingstohim—kind of stare. He kept his eyes carefully away from Cross.

For once he wanted Allen to hurry up and return, so he wouldn’t be alone with the man sexually molesting him with his mind.

Beansprout, come back. Come back. Come back now, you little shit.

“You’ve grown a bit,” that smooth—yet gruff—voice was laced with seduction and cigarette smoke.

“That’s what young people do.” Kanda clipped, trying not to say more than absolutely necessary.

“You’re tense, young person.” Cross grinned, breathing in more toxic fog then letting it soak into the air in billows. “You’ve gotten prettier than last time too.”

He’s hitting on me.

Kill him.

No, run.

Jump into his ar—

NO. His voice is a poison. Don’t listen. Don’t listen. Don’t listen.

“If you say so,” he grunted, turning his upper body to intentionally ignore the son of a bitch and hoping he got the clue. Don’t talk to me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t fucking talk to me any fucking more.

“You’re being rather unpleasant…” A wicked grin adorned the strong face, “Yuu.”

The younger man’s spine nearly snapped with how quickly he straightened his back, instinct overriding his ability to simply ignore the taunt. Grinding his teeth he hissed harshly and turned his head in one fluid motion to let out an unholy yell, but before the words got out…he realized Cross wasn’t in his seat. Suddenly, the room was disgustingly stifling. So much so, that he wanted to get up and storm the fuck out. Where the hell was that stupid beansprout?

“Don’t like that?”

A shiver snuck down his spine and he nearly jumped out of his skin at the hot breath against his ear. God, Christ. His brain was going into convulsions and he had to fight not to flee like a little bitch.

It was his fifteenth birthday all over again. This was Cross touching his neck. This was Cross snaking his warms down his shoulders. This was Cross’s tongue torturing his ear and making him light up with a mixture of humiliation and more, more, MORE.

No.

Stop.

This is horrible.

This is…someone else’s tongue in my mou—

OH…

Instinct hit his brain like a two ton hammer and he pushed the General away with a loud hack, biting his tongue staring up at the man like he was about to be dragged off into a closet somewhere. Déjà vu was crushing his spine with how hard it hit him.

No. No. No. No. No.

This man is an aphrodisiac. Don’t talk to it, don’t look at it, don’t be fifteen again…

“Master?” A voice, a savior, called from the direction of the door and Allen Walker came in to see Cross standing just before Kanda—who had magically managed to make himself look less conspicuous. “Everything okay?”

“Idiot apprentice,” he grumbled and returned to his seat as if he’d done nothing wrong. “A man can’t even stretch his legs without idiot children asking questions.” In the process of his speech, the man shot Kanda that look again.

No. No. No. No. No.

He knows where my room is!

That horrible grin never left Cross Marian’s face.  

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I’m up for some self torture.

D.Gray-man, prepare to be ruined. You can toss it anonymously if you want. Oh and if the character doesn’t have a name, I won’t do it. Also. If I cannot SPELL the characters name [Lvellier<orwhateverthehellhisnameis>forexample.] I also won’t do it.

There’s a few I’ll refuse on grounds of my soul not wanting to shatter, but bring it.

CrossxKomui for the sick bastard who asked for this:

——-

“So, you’re the Chief, are you?” A rich baritone voice echoed like silk in the vacant room. There was no doubt that the owner of such a smooth tone was nothing less than a sultry, powerful presence. His flaming red hair made him appear aggressive, despite his intended class. Cross Marian was nothing short of one magnificent bastard.

“Yes. I am. I’m here to help the exorcists.” The opposing voice was softer, undertoned with seriousness yet mirth. Komui Lee had never met the esteemed General Cross until the moment he was standing before him; towering and dangerous—with a predatory look.

“Like babysitting children,” Cross gruffed, exhaling a thick blanket of smoke not far from Komui’s face—much to the displeasure of the Chinese man.

“They’re not children.”

“You think they’re adults? Don’t make me laugh. My idiot apprentice is proof enough that they’re all just helpless little rats running around in circles.”

Komui was no fighter, so when his hand curled in the man’s collar and he cast him a heated glare, it came as a surprise to both Cross and the man himself. “They are trying their best out there.”

Cross leaned back and pulled the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled one last breath of gray smog. “Easy there, Chief Lee,” he leaned very close to the Chinese man’s face. A grin curled his lip and the sharp canines showed through, making him appear seductively hostile. “You’re no woman, but I can make you act like one in minutes. Asians are a treat. Not enough women around here, so I might have to make due. You’re just making it easy to choose should I catch an urge.”

Komui recoiled, letting his fingers loose of the fabric. He didn’t even want to look a the man as he hastily made his way out of his own office, a slight tremble present in his body. They were right when they said Cross was some kind of beast. He was a monster, even.

He just didn’t think they meant he was a monster pervert.

I love this chapter so much. I wrote half of it on my iPod. Why do I enjoy Kanda torture? Because it’s amazing. But I give him a cookie here and there. Will be posted tonight, but here’s a lil snippet:

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“I’m bigger’n you.” Kanda sneered, nearly delighted when Lavi quickly dropped into a sitting position in the water; sputtering like a fool. For all his shitty day, he finally got Lavi back for at least a small fraction of his annoyance. “And I’m Asian.” He verbally poured salt into the wound and grinded it, before turning toward the door—in current possession of every bit of clothing in the washroom.

I truly truly want to succumb to write horrible horrible pairings for DGM, however….I hate breaking characters that hard. It’s a catch22. Fill up everyone’s inbox with horrible crack, or preserve my dignity and pretend I never even once thought about a: CrossxKanda, that’s within canon and NOT gay.

Think about that.

d-gay-porn asked: Hmm... FouXOld Man Zhu?

You are a terrible person. No seriously. You are. But Fien.

“OLD MAN, I’M TALKING TO YOU,” she screamed into her magically formed megaphone. The man was busy cooking and often zoned out, or rather, purposely ignored those around him. He didn’t always ignore her when she called for him.

Once upon a time, back when he was still young and spry, he was charming and strong. Now…he seemed rather senile and maybe even a little lax. She knew he lived with regrets, but that didn’t matter to her. She was a magical-science creation and thus didn’t have the same capacity to reach out to the emotional aspects of humans. She just wanted his damned attention and she was going to get it. Even if she had to resort to age old tactics.

“HEY. I’m talking to you, you old bastard!” She shrieked and pulled at his oriental robe. He continued to hum to himself and chop the vegetables. She growled and turned him with a force that shouldn’t be present in her petite looking frame.

Much like she had done when he was still dashing and youthful, she planted a chaste kiss square on the old bastard’s mouth. The sudden rigidity in his form told her that she now had his full attention.

“Kanda Yuu is here,” she finally announced.

/whyumaekmedodatSHUDDER